Howdy folks. The men in the two pictures seen above are Bufford T. Shitley on the left and to his right his Cousin Clifford "Cleftus" Furbleau. Not much can be known about this particular branch of the family tree. Legend has it that the branch was either struck by lightning, or peed on by a small primate with a bladder infection. (but we'll probably never know for sure).
At least that's what Whitley Folklore claims, as best as can be gathered from a few remaining sources and artifacts.
Not much is known about these two, but apparently Bufford's tall lanky 6'4" frame came in handy during his daytime job as a freelance scarecrow. He had a fine reputation in the local farming community as a good working stiff (apparently).
Cleftus had a Cajun mommy and after his dad run off with a circus midg- , er, little person, he supported his mum by wrestling gators. He was seven. His lithp gave him a complex making him angry at waffles for some unknown reason. He later died in a farming accident involving turkeys and duct tape.
So, that's it. That's all we know. It's all we can know. And in all honesty, in the end, that's all we want to know. That being said, THANK YOU Bufford and Cleftus for the early inspiration.